I have often pondered the universe
in a star filled sky. I have witnessed the overwhelming beauty of sunrises and
sunsets. I know that each new day dawns hope even as I go to sleep in doubt the
night prior. I have beheld the
cathedrals of His forests as the sunlight streams through the tall steeples of
the pines, sequoias and redwoods. I have caught glimpses of His artistic beauty
in a spring-colored hillside. I have heard His soft whisper upon the breeze through
the trees. Birdsong and crickets sing melody in the early morning and evening. I
find sanctuary in these moments. However, as the man from the desert must
thirst, I crave the seashore.
God is revealed through His
creation and is many things in my life. However, I believe that He is most
evident and exemplified in the sea. The
roaring, strong Force, which is powerful enough to destroy instantly, yet
chooses to gently embrace us and infuse that strength within us in order to
revive. It is a place that excites all senses as one: sight, smell, hear, feel
and taste. It is here that I fully appreciate my sense of self and solitude.
Yet, it is also here, where I feel the awesome closeness of God and
universe. Whether I return literally or
imaginatively, it is here that sea meets land, sight meets sound and smell.
Here, I feel both alive and at peace.
Scent is excited first, with the
salty, fishy, smell of mist that both awakens hunger yet satiates. But for me,
it is the sensation of soft, warm sand, which absorbs the stress even before my
ears focus upon the bellowing sounds of waves breaking on the shore. Wiggling
my toes, I dig in deeper to the cool beneath the top layer of sand. A sigh escapes my lips, I am ready for
revival! I revisit childhood when my feet sink into the damp sand near the
water. Again, the joy act of wiggling my toes brings a giggle to my lips.
I was but a little girl the first
time I walked the shore alongside my Daddy. The glistening sun upon the water mesmerized
me and I was ecstatic to find “free souvenirs.” I recall him pointing out the
unbroken shells and discouraging a random, greedy collection of everything. I
have perfected that ideal, to include fragments of shells and other items.
Today, I may only pick up yellow items…next visit, maybe white. But always, I
look for seaglass- those bits of
glass leftover and tumbled by the sea, from man’s litter. Natural treasures
abound to be found and perused. Within the tide pools of nearby rocks, one may
find a vast miniature world of wonder. Beneath the water’s surface, color and
texture weaves a marine garden. Each ebb
and flow of the tide deposits treasures upon the shore.
My eyes travel the sounds. Aside from the fullness of turning waves or
soft lapping of water upon the rocks, there is a particular symphony of the
seashore. I imagine the tune differs from that of being upon the sea as well.
Birds no longer chirp a singsong, as in the backyard sanctuary. They squawk and
whistle and the sounds are richer, just as the smells, tastes and sights are
more vibrant! Seagulls overhead and nearby vie for a morsel. “Mine, mine, mine,” they seem to yell. They utter no thanks to the giver but they
will return for more just the same. The cooing of the pigeon has also changed
from that of those in the park back home. Feeding them beachside emits a much
louder boldness. Perhaps, their coo must be louder here. Or maybe I am more
aware here of the underlying theme- there is much to soak up and take from a
visit to the seashore.
It
is here that we refuel, recharge. Yet,
what do I leave behind in benefit to the sea? Footprints upon the sand are
easily washed away by the returning tide or blown upon the air with the breeze.
Definitely, I leave behind the debris of my mind and spirit. I have been cleansed and refreshed.
Hopefully, I have not forgotten any real trash or litter behind. And maybe this
time, I will remember to pick up trash that I find while walking the beach.
Often, I have thought in hindsight that I would bring a bag to collect litter
on my next visit. For it isn’t until my leaving that I really see the litter,
having been distracted by the wonders of the seashore. A visit to the beach
always stirs within me a longing to return and to give back.
I
have walked and I have waded. Today, I will not swim, but sit and watch the
surfers and those who sail the wind. The
ebb and flow of the tide matches me breath for breath. Breathe in (the tide
goes out)…breathe out, exhale and the ocean’s stretch returns. In and out…in
and out…my breath and the sea…in and out…I trade stress for calm…in and out.
I am both delighted by and fearful
of the sea. My fear is like that of God in my heart- a strong reverence and
appreciation of completely knowing that He is in control. Those who ride and
sail the sea have not nor will ever conquer it. Rather, they become one with
the sea, even if only for snippets in time.
For even the ridden wave, the crest must end when the tide reaches the
shore. They, then paddle back out to ride another wave in.
Often, I overcome my fear of the unknown and
fear of “going under” enough to body surf. It is exhilarating. No rollercoaster
can match the adrenaline rush of successfully riding a wave in! Comparatively,
following God’s will is sometimes like riding that wave…exhilarating, almost
scary but rewarding.
I spent many days walking the seashore both
alone and alongside my husband and daughters that year my Dad died. It was
there, in that time, that I searched my soul, my mind and that small universe
of my world, looking for God. It was there, in that time, that I discovered a
whole new relationship with God. God, the Father was found only after my
earthly one was gone. It was there, in that time, that I found myself, as well.
I had been buried deep beneath on the ocean’s floor. Yet, through the tumbling and turning of the
tide, I found myself- one fragment and seaglass piece at a time!
